All Other People

Alright, guys. I guess you could say this is one of those sorta moments when you step back, take a deep breath, look around... and ask yourself: "What the HECK am I doing?"
It's also, in a way, an apology- the only way I really know how.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. It all started when I came back to visit this old blog. And when I had blown off the dust, and gotten past all the "=D" emoticons, I was again hit by something I addressed long ago: nostalgia. And as I looked over all the old posts, with just a hint of a tear blurring the old beige on blue color scheme, I came to rest on the top of the page. There it was: practically the corner stone of this crazy place- You and Me, by Lifehouse. Its the song that I loved long before any girl. The song that me, PH, and RB can all actually agree on. The song that I still whisper on lonely nights. And pretty much the song that sums up the life of most poor guys that, before they even see it coming, have who they are convinced is the most beautiful person in the world thrust into their life.
Of course, I've had the song on my Ipod for quite a while now, but, there seemed to be something special about the old YouTube video. It harked back from what seems like a different era. Back before I had any Imerchandise in general. Back when I would wait for my mom to go the store, then crank up that YouTube video, and listen to it till that garage door opened again. It was always too soon. Heck, Cloudy probably has the song memorized...
Before I could reminisce anymore, I let my finger fall to the play button, and, after a few quiet strums, the beautiful lyrics were flowing into my basement once again. And, for the first time in a long time, I made myself listen to it in a new way. "Its you and me, and all other people..." All my problems and worries fought for attention in my mind, but still, I made myself listen. "Its you and me, and all other people..." Again the chorus rolled by, and I could hardly think straight. "Its you and me, and-" And in that third chorus, I got it. I suddenly got it. I sat bolt upright, and whispered along, "all other people."
All of the worries, uncertainties, and frightening possibilities that I'd struggled with for... almost 5 months suddenly fell away. And in that moment of calm, I could ask myself the question I had deserved all that time. What ever happened to 'all other people'? I'd been so caught up in this one girl, that I had let everything else slip. My homework was lagging. My friendships were faltering. Heck, even my relationship with my family seemed corroded. And all my worry had gotten me nowhere with the one person I cared about. And as the final whispers of You and Me played, I knew it was time for a change. "What day is it, and in what month- this clock never seemed so alive..." Time is short. How long can I pretend like I'm immortal? How long will I wait before I get back out there, and be the student I'm called to be, be the son I'm called to be, be the friend I'm called to be? Don't get me wrong, that girl is beautiful, on the inside even more than the out. Joy pretty much describes her. That, and maybe a little attitude thrown in. And part of the reason knowing her has been so hard is because its been all-consuming. My days hinged on every little thing she did. Now, its time to (quite literally) face the music, and live a little life, not only with her- but with all other people. Amazing people. I'm sorry guys. Sometimes I get too caught up in being "Loverboy", and, well, forget to be...
Yours truly,
ThinAir