Highs and Lows

You remember my nostalgia post a while back, right? In a way, this will probably end up being the same kind of thing. It won't be on the same subject, but it will be similar in the sense that I'm not here to joke around, make an important announcement, or talk strategies. Rather, I just have some things I need to get off my chest and out into the open. I don't expect sympathy, or even advice, I just need to say it, so bear with me.

I always used to hear people say that everything changes when you turn 13. I never thought one year could make that much of a difference, I was sure it couldn't be that bad. And now, at the ripe age of 13 years, I stand corrected. When you turn 13, all the lines that used to be black and white blur. All the normality of life disapears, and you feel like you're fighting just to keep your head above water everyday.
Now, before I go into detail about these struggles, let me tell you something else. I am a Christian. I follow Christ. And the only thing that's keeping me from being swept into this raging void of uncertainty is His Word- the Bible. I've got to trust His Words even when its hard to trust anything else. And the Bible clearly states that two are better than one- as a Christian, I take friendship seriously. So as a result, its hard to see a friend leave. Physically, or emotionally, its always hard. If you don't know what I mean about leaving emotionally, then you've probably never experienced it. When a friend leaves emotionally, you no longer feel like they are the same person, they seem to turn away from you, and start going a different path. That's how I've felt about some of my neighborhood friends for a while now. It seems like the differences between us are ever growing. Cause you see, I'm a Christian. But they aren't. And it seems like every year that goes by, the rift widens. Another close friend of mine is also leaving, but only physically. He and his family are moving up to Wisconsin, to small and wonderful town known as Minocqua. And even though its sad to see him go, I KNOW we'll keep in touch, by phone, email, this blog, or a friendly (hehe) game of TA. They might even return to Illinois in the future, should God will it. But the main thing is, I know we'll still be friends, even though far apart, because he's only leaving physically. What's even harder, is to be near someone, yet know you are no longer friends. All these things combine to put me on a sort of emotional rollercoaster. Highs and lows. For example, a couple days ago, when on a tube, behing a boat, over a blue lake, under a clear sky I was (though admittedly scared) on top of the world. I knew everything would turn out fine. Yet just last night I practically cried myself to sleep, with hardly a trace of hope. With all these emotions flying by at a dizzying speed, its really hard to know what to beleive, which is why I've found I have to cling to God's Word all the more.