Prepare for a very, Very, VERY random post...

Read this post at your own risk. If you prefer consistent posts, then you might want to turn away now.



You can read this, but don't say I didn't warn you...



If watermelons could speak, what would they say? "I'm a dang cross between H2O and a fruit!!!"



I mean, I would feel that way... Now, I'm going to quietly hum the UK's national anthem:



"Oh, I don't know this SOOOOOOOONG!"



Come to think of it, I don't know Britain's national anthem... I'll give up then...

Why try? I mean, really? I'm not British! So why must I learn the song to appease everyone else?!

Ugh, you people are getting very annoying: making me sing that songy thing and all, so I'm going to talk about watermelons again.

You've gotta love 'em. They're so round and delicious!

I'm going to stop talking about watermelons and talk about cardboard. If you eat cardboard, you'll have a faint hint of egg mayonnaise in your breath. WHY? Because cardboard tastes like mayo. Period. Don't ask.

How about shoes. In fact, I'm going to telekenetically make one go onto my foot! Oh, bad idea. There goes that expensive vase.

Yeah, have you seen Avatar? I don't really know. Neither do I care. But my favorite characters are the floating, omen-bringing jellyfish things. Or that big bird that the wheelchair guy rides in Navi form...

CHEESE! Told you this post was random.

Should I stay or should I go. Nanananana naaaaaa (in electric guitar sound)! I should stay AND go. And use the bathroom while doing all of this.

LAVATORY OCCUPIED

*Flush*

Ah, that's better. Oh, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I was talking about that new iPhone 4. THE THING IS A TIME BOMB! I mean, I love iPods, but this one really tries to kill you. Look, at what happened to me. I survived an onslaught of deadly golf balls and whacked an evil fez-wearing monkey with a ping-pong paddle. I was scarred for life.

Ah, mind lapse! Don'ttell me I was talking about a green soccer ball! Curses!

I've got to buy some ShamWow. You know, to clean the oil spill up.

I'm gonna need some more ShamWow. But I can't trust Oxi Clean now. The beloved Billy Mays is no longer the spokesperson.

Peace out!